Trimming the Fat

Today I’m starting a new eating program. I’m not calling it a diet because diet is a four-letter word and I’ve never in my life been able to stick to one. So, why on Tuesday? Why not Tuesday? It’s just as good a day as any other and special things rarely happen on Tuesday so I thought I’d give Tuesday a new ranking in the weekly order. Just kidding. I’m starting today for a couple of reasons. First, yesterday was the first opportunity I had to shop for this new eating program so I wasn’t ready before today. Secondly, I told my Ride or Die (RoD) partner, Ingrid, about this new eating program almost two weeks ago and we agreed to do it together. She’s been doing it for over a week already and that makes me look like a huge slacker. Can’t have that.

I decided to make this life change because I felt it was time to get a handle on all the excess in my life. At a time when our nation is riddled with excess debt, bailouts and the like, I figured this is as good a time as any to do a little belt tightening. Phase One is food. After this I plan to tackle my clothes, my paperwork and possibly a few “friends” that I no longer find useful or fun. Lastly, I’m toying with the idea of shorning my locks and going with a much shorter do. The jury is still out on those last two though.
So, back to the new eating plan. It’s intense. Unofficially developed by a former Marine (I heart Marines!!) and very effective at creating a lean body. The idea is a 3/4 split. For four days a week you follow the plan and the other three you can eat as you like. Within reason. This is the part that appealed to me most because it’s like having cheat days built right in. What could be better? During your four days on, you need to do a fairly drastic calorie reduction (1000 to be exact) and eliminate refined sugars from your diet. Start the day with oatmeal and some protein, have two protein shakes throughout the day and a big salad with chicken (or fish if you prefer) for dinner. You can eat all the veggies you want during the day and drink lots and lots of water. It’s also recommended that you do at least 30 minutes of cardio on each of the four days to get your heart rate up. And that’s it.
Now let me say that I will NOT be restricting to 1000 calories a day. I wouldn’t have enough energy to blink with that amount of food so I’ll be coming in around 1200-1300 and since I can’t abide oatmeal, I’ll be substituting Cheerios instead. Yay Cheerios!! I’ve recently become obsessed with dry Cheerios and I now understand why mothers of toddlers always carry little Ziplock bags of them for their kids. Cheerios are the perfect little snack and I now carry little Ziplock bags for myself. When strangers give me the crazy one eye, I pretend that I had them in my bag for my child who is with her nanny. Of course I don’t have any kids but they don’t know that. I digress. Aside from the calorie restriction I think the toughest part of this will be not having any fruit or fruit juice for those four days. And of course, the no bread insanity. This could send me screaming out into the night but I am willing to make the sacrifice for a trimmer me.
So. I’m gonna check-in in a couple of days and let you know how it’s going. I bet that Ingrid has already lost five pounds. Man, I gotta get on the treadmill!!

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